We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
