Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
