It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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