the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
