we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
