was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
