I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
