jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
