i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
