I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
