Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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