i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
