Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
only you would photoshop your dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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