what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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