i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
