it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
