His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
