Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
