At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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