i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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