He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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