I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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