I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
jump out the window naked night went bad
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
