The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
