I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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