Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
