She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
