she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
