Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
