she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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