I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was CRYING into my vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
