he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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