clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
