Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
