I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
