she smelled like a LAN party
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
