I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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