he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
