That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
