Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
