Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
