So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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