i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
