i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
