sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
