I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
