i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is wine microwaveable?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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