shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
