wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
