I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
