break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
