white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
