Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
